E-Portfolio: Waipara writing

 Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

The Water Slide

Waiting for a turn in the long line with with a big grin on my face. The line is getting shorter and shorter every minute. A cold shiver ran down my back and suddenly I am flying down the black, slippery mat as fast as a cheater. Little, clear droplets came flying towards me!" this is so much screaming with happiness!"

Eventually, the fun was coming to an end. All of a sudden buckets of water tipped all of my face. I stood up slowly, and walked up the old, faded, tyre steps. Shivering like a frozen ice cube, sitting in the freezing snow. This is a time that will never be forgotten.

Student Reflection: In my writing one of my goal is to spell most multi syllable words correctly. I showed this goal here because my buddy marked my work, and my feedback was to make sure to spell everything correctly, so I listened to my feedback. In my writing one of my goal is to make sure it makes sense. I didn't show this goal here because I didn't read through my writing properly My next step is to read each sentence individually and make sure that all of my sentences make sense before I publish my writing. Teacher Comment: Ally, I like the way you have used a variety of vocab to create an image in the readers mind.   Your writing has improved so much over the term!  Well done.  Your next step is to read each sentence individually and reflect of if they make sense and tell you all they need to. - Mrs Hunter