ePortfolio writing term 4

Report Writing

Achievement Objectives Level 3 & 4

Integrate sources of information, processes, and strategies with developing confidence to identify, form, and express ideas.

Show a developing understanding of how texts are shaped for different purposes and audiences.

Show a developing understanding of ideas within, across, and beyond texts.

Show a developing understanding of how language features are used for effect within and across texts.

Show a developing understanding of text structures.

Show an increasing understanding of ideas within, across, and beyond texts.

Integrate sources of information, processes, and strategies confidently to identify, form, and express ideas.

Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.

Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.

Insert a picture of your draft report here

Publish your writing here

Dodos are a very large bird, not many people know about this bird. This bird. This bird is very interesting, and is no longer around in this world anymore.

Dodos were once called 'wallow birds'. This bird is about 3 inches tall. When people ate the dodo, it didn't taste like chicken. This bird lived on a island of Mauritas. The dodo bird only lays one egg at a time.

Some weird facts about Dodos... it has a yellow beak, massive throat, big beak and overall this bird is very scary.

I hope you have learnt heaps of weird and interesting facts about the dodo, whats the most interesting fact I stated in my report writing?

Self Reflection:

Medal: I think I got a lot of interesting facts.

Medal: I think I did good PIGS.

Backpack: Next time I think I should try write a bit more.

My Haiku poem

5- Winter is so fun
7- Winter snow fights are the best
5- I love hot milo

E-Portfolio: Waipara writing

 Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

The Water Slide

Waiting for a turn in the long line with with a big grin on my face. The line is getting shorter and shorter every minute. A cold shiver ran down my back and suddenly I am flying down the black, slippery mat as fast as a cheater. Little, clear droplets came flying towards me!" this is so much screaming with happiness!"

Eventually, the fun was coming to an end. All of a sudden buckets of water tipped all of my face. I stood up slowly, and walked up the old, faded, tyre steps. Shivering like a frozen ice cube, sitting in the freezing snow. This is a time that will never be forgotten.

Student Reflection: In my writing one of my goal is to spell most multi syllable words correctly. I showed this goal here because my buddy marked my work, and my feedback was to make sure to spell everything correctly, so I listened to my feedback. In my writing one of my goal is to make sure it makes sense. I didn't show this goal here because I didn't read through my writing properly My next step is to read each sentence individually and make sure that all of my sentences make sense before I publish my writing. Teacher Comment: Ally, I like the way you have used a variety of vocab to create an image in the readers mind.   Your writing has improved so much over the term!  Well done.  Your next step is to read each sentence individually and reflect of if they make sense and tell you all they need to. - Mrs Hunter

Term 2 Writing Sample - Persuasive Speech Ally McKinlay

I think i did well at my speech because I used props like a coffee mug and some evidence.
I also think I did well at doing eye contact because I was looking at my audience the whole time!
Next time I will definitely work on,talking slower.

crime scene

Date:30th April 2018
Time:12:38pm
Location:Kaiapoi North School Tiwai creative cave
Name:Detective Dawn
Crime scene:

Hi my name is Detective Dawn.Today I'm talking to you about a serious crime based at Kaiapoi North school.This crime was on Monday the 30.4.18 at 1:50 the most important thing is that its based in the Tiwai creative cave.

Next up I will be gathering all my info about what went wrong in the creative cave!
There was a lip stain on a clear glass and the colour of the lip stick was clearly bright red,Miss Lamonds cream round hat with a brown strap around the top,There was some empty lift and the detectives saw 1 hand print on the wall but it was clearly white and 2 foot prints,Blue paint on a white board table but luckily on some newspaper,There was  silver Hong Knong silver coin on a dark blue table all of the detectives think Mr Hendoson put the silver coin there,paper screwed up on the carpet,broken glass.......from the schools proudly owned gold fish and it got stolen!Yes the gold fish got stolen!OMG

Now I will let you know about the biggest concern at the scene.My detectives said they are so worried about the gold fish so this must be a major issue to them!

Lastly who my suspects are firstly Mr Hendo went to Hong Kong,Miss Bayliss wears stunning red lip stick so its clearly a Woman,Miss Lamonds  hat was just floating on the ground and there was empty lift we all know who drinks that tasty enjoyable drink Mrs Hunter.Now I will be telling you who me and my team think it is.Miss Lamond!!!We think its her because her creamy hat was just laying on the carpet! she gave my detective called Delta and I a massive clue!

Ally camp reflection

WAINUI CAMP, 2018


What is your best memory of Tōtara camp?


-My best memory is when my group went on the giant swing.We all had a go and I went half way up it was still very high!Why I really like this activity is because I love heights and the giant swing was really new to me.


What challenged you on camp and how did you get through this challenge?


-What challenged me was having a good sleep because normally I always talk to my friends but I had to go asleep and not talk to my friends so I tried to lay on my bunk and fall asleep


How did you show Active Listening on camp and why was it important?





-I showed active listening by not talking to my friends so I know what im doing and I used signals like shh and ignoring my friends all way through camp.

Letter to Mr Hipkins

Kaiapoi North School
278 Williams st
Kaiapoi 7630

Minister of education
Government buildings
Wellington

Dear Mr Hipkins

My name is Ally McKinlay and I'm a year 7 at Kaiapoi North School.I’m writing to you about our Tiwai block begging for air conditioning.

I would like to say how thankful we all are for this amazing building in KNS. My old classroom, I didn’t really like it because it stunk and I do not like the layout of room 16 and 17. I like the new building way better because of the high ceiling, big space and big windows.

Do you know that we have all tried to work extremely hard but we can’t because it’s way too hot, so stuffy and it's even hotter inside than outside, the list goes on!!! We need to make the best solution ever!

In addition, at lunch everyone plays games and haves fun with their friends but as soon as the bell rings, we all have to go into a hot,smelly classroom

I know that you would agree to our letter. We would be so delighted to walk into a comfortable space.

An air con in Tortara would we amazing! After a hot break, it would be delightful to walk in a nice and chilled space.

Would you like us to work and learn better in the right temperature?

So please agree to our request. We’ll always keep it on our mind no matter what.

Thank you for reading my letter.

Yours sincerely,

Ally Mckinlay